Psych This Episode Sucks Recap 11/06/12

So Lassiter is in a bar, swilling Jack Daniels and trying to unwind after a rough day, when a gorgeous blonde named Marlowe sidles up to him and starts flirting outrageously. They bond over their mutual love of Clint Eastwood. While Lassiter orders another round, she slinks off to the ladies’ room… and slips out the window and disappears, leaving him devastated.  Shortly thereafter, a young man named Hamilton Dean is murdered by a hooded figure in a dark parking lot. In the morning, Juliet, with Shawn and Gus in tow, examines the crime scene.

Hamilton’s body has been drained of blood through puncture wounds in his neck and both wrists, which leads a delighted Shawn and Gus to conclude he was attacked by a vampire. When a hangover and morose Lassiter arrives at the scene, he notices that Hamilton is clutching a necklace identical to the one Marlowe wore the previous night. Lassiter heads to a local haberdashery shop, which, in one of this episode’s many moments of sheer brilliance, is named Bling Crosby. He talks to the young clerk, but it’s a dead end: The necklace is a popular item, and there’s no record of past sales.  While investigating Hamilton’s murder, Juliet and the boys hit a gloriously decadent/campy/ridiculous vampire bar. Shawn is dressed as Tom Cruise’s Lestat from Interview With the Vampire; Gus is kitted out as Blacula.  Juliet grills the vamped-out bartender about any suspicious recent happenings; he tells them about a suspicious call he received from a customer looking to purchase a pint of blood. And hey, the bartender is played by Corey Feldman! Excellent. I’m pretty firmly pro-Feldman. He’s only got a quick cameo, but he looks good and does a fine job, which is great to see.

Lassiter finds Marlowe’s address by pulling one of her fingerprints off the face of his watch. He arrives at her house and demands to see her necklace, which she produces without a fuss. When he grills her about her whereabouts at the time of Hamilton’s murder, she claims she was sitting in the parking lot outside the bar, silently watching Lassiter. Juliet traces the call the mysterious blood-seeker made to the vampire bar, and discovers it came from Marlowe’s house. She and Shawn and Gus show up and surprise Marlowe and Lassiter. Since Marlowe has an alibi for Hamilton’s killing, they figure the call must have been placed by one of Marlowe’s three male roommates: Eddie, Jake, and Lucien. Juliet interrogates Lucien at the SBPD headquarters. It’s Buffy’s Tom Lenk! Thus bringing the number of vampire-centric guest stars to three! Lucien also has an alibi for the murder: He was working at King Putt, the local mini-golf course. Suspicion turns to another of Marlowe’s roommates, Ed.

During their search of the house, Shawn noted that Ed had an appointment at the local blood bank. Shawn and Gus drag Juliet along to investigate. Adrian, who turns out to be the clerk from Bling Crosby, bursts into Lassiter’s house, chloroforms him, ties him to a chair, and prepares to drain him. When Juliet, Shawn and Gus arrive, they discover Lassiter has already easily overpowered and arrested his assailant. And Lassiter visits Marlowe in jail, where they bond some more over Eastwood films. Unable to come straight out and verbally express his feelings for her, Lassiter holds a sign up to the glass separating them: It’s a heartfelt note explaining that he’s willing to wait six to eighteen months for her.

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